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I hung my head telling her I was sorry. Mom lifted my head with her finger.Mom told me it was Ok as it was normal for a boy my age to get hard like that. She told me my body was growing into manhood that was all. “Don’t be embarrassed by what God gave you, I am not,” mom said smiling.We went to a woman’s shop next. My mother would show me sexy panties and bras. She asked me if I liked them. I loved all of them. She would hand me the ones she wanted to buy. I learned her breast size from the tags on her new bras.As we left that store I noticed a man following us. He kept staring at my mother. I stopped and whispered to her that a strange man was following us.Mom looked over her shoulder and she smiled at him. Mom whispered back into my ear. He can look but not touch. That he was harmless. We continued shopping mom was bending over showing her breasts and her ass. That man was getting an eye full as well as me. Mom told me she was hungry and we went to the food court to get lunch. As. I wasthinking to myself "this is where I fit in now, girly" the whole time.Purely for self voyeuristic and with lustful intent I bought some skimpyunderwear. I felt a bit bad on the cab ride home, I didn't want my lifeto be just self lust but it's pretty hard to ignore my circumstances.Maybe that will wear off in time, who knows.I got home and ignored my new undies and just ate and watched TV somemore. I think it was just a "settling in" night.If you could have seen me splayed out on the couch, scratching my snatchand watching TV you would laugh I bet..:)Sunday, March 11th, 2007I slept in today like a lazy slug.I'm not sure why I keep writing all of this, I guess maybe it's a fewmoments of connection to my old maleness that I really crave. This isthe only place anyone would "buy" my true guyness at the moment.I went to bed naked last night and DID NOT masturbate. I saw this as asuccessful experiment, I had some control still. This body is sowickedly soft and cozy on silk sheets, I.
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